![]() ![]() While at home, I am in a constant state of survival mode. In a way, a deployment simplifies your battle rhythm allowing a more deliberate focus on both your role and your own health and wellbeing. Although not completely divorced from the cognitive and emotional responsibilities, deployments lessons the effect of the cognitive and emotional overload. The author describes three categories cognitive labour, emotional labour and the third is the intersecting of the two. ![]() A recent BBC article titled “ The Hidden Load: How ‘thinking of everything’ holds mums back” discusses the notion of hidden work. Mental load is a significant contemporary issue experienced by many working mothers. These thoughts are based on my experiences during operational deployments where I consistently struggled to reconcile my strong desire to deploy with my inner guilt of being an absent mother. I do not posit that fathers or anyone without children are not faced with competing priorities this is a personal observation. Upfront, this is a reflection piece and will not resonate with all readers and certainly not all mothers. To this day, I still do not know how I managed to say goodbye to my first born baby. My first deployment to the Middle East was six months following the birth of my first child. I have deployed on three Middle East deployments and a few shorter regional deployments. I am a mother of three girls, wife to Adam (a member of the Royal Australian Air Force) and I am an Army Officer. I also felt I should share my thoughts with fellow cluttered minds. After about a month, I had established a new routine and felt a sense of calmness, I knew I needed to develop a way to unclutter my mind once I returned to Australia. Deployments have always provided me the opportunity to unclutter my mind and focus on me, as an Army officer and as individual. I had been here before, twice in fact, I knew it would be hard, but I knew it was what I wanted and needed to do. ![]() I turned around for one last glimpse of my beautiful family, my three girls held back tears. As I proceeded down towards security, I felt a big lump in my throat and immense pain in my heart. I eventually pulled myself away, gave my husband a last kiss and walked towards the escalators at Brisbane International Airport. I hugged them tight, so tight that my four year old complained she couldn’t breathe. ![]()
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